is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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