if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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