she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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