I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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