"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
