remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
