you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
