Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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