i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
that's an acceptable place to lick
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
