just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
