Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
