yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
