You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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