You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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