The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
