Tell her she can't have a vagina
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Randomize
