wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
