so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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