Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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