I wish I could punch you in the face.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
