Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
