1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
