ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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