Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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