bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
