Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
