bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
