I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
