How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
