Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
