TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
