don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
