I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
