thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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