if i can run in heels then i can drive
we made out on top of his cat.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
