i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
