i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
