Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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