I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
