During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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