my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
