I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
