just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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