good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
