We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
