Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
not ubering you a puppy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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