rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
