Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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