Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
