Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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