i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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