I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
